Call me: how to tame a fear of telephones

By Jane Comben
Don't take it personally, but I probably avoid calling you. It's not that I don't like you, it's just I'd rather not. If I can help it.

My name is Jane and I'm a teeny bit telephobic. I'm naturally shy and at the age of 5 I was falsely accused of shoplifting chewing gum. The terror of that, and being frisked by the shopkeeper, probably didn't help my reticence. I digress. Apparently there's a whole phobia devoted to people who have a "reluctance to or fear of taking or making phone calls" (Wikipedia). "Telephobes" to their friends.

Like any phobia a bit of aversion therapy can work a charm. After graduating, getting a proper design job in London was just that. For 6 months I'd visit the local phone box in my lunch hour and cold call agencies for a chance to show them my portfolio. It was horrible but after a few months I could get past the receptionist and convince the busy agency owner he could spare me 10 minutes. If I was particularly courageous, I'd bag a few appointments for my weekly trek to London. I was practically invincible!

I should probably admit that my first design job was at a tiny local firm that funded my trips to London. A handwritten letter from my Mum helped me secure the post. The letter was prompted by a tiny advert in the back of the local paper, an advert I had snubbed. A lesson learnt that, yes, your mother probably IS right (and the big guns in London don't need to know how low-rent the company is).

Finally, I got a London job and just as I was enjoying the use of faxes there dawned a new technological age. None of us could imagine this "world wide web" or who we'd be sending emails to. Or, a few years later, the point of texts. How blind I was to the telephone-avoiding potential of these wonders.

Of course these "new" technologies weren't without difficulties. Quick recap: don't send anything you wouldn't want your grandmother/girlfriend/boss to see.

Today, I need to work at phoning people rather than relying on electronic communication. Perhaps the recipient would prefer an email they can deal with in their own time, but probably not. Most people have enough in their inbox already.

So here are my tips for the phone averse:

• Keep the aversion therapy up – sometimes make yourself call rather than email/text/facebook. Starting your own business is good for this!
• Schedule the calls first thing and get them over with.
• Congratulate yourself.
• Make up for it in other ways. Be extra friendly in person, smile at strangers. Or send cards.
• Get a loquacious friend to show you the way.

How many times have I discussed a challenge with Angela Bensemann to have her come up with the crazy suggestion "you could always phone"?

Phone? Yes, I suppose I could. It's not like I'm avoiding you.

Kickstart my Me-tIme!

Chrissie showing off her Art Extension Programme.

By Chrissie Sullivan

Frustrated artist, disillusioned Primary teacher, home-educator, full-on busy Mum/Mama…
Hmmmm…finding ME-time…PRICELESS!

I have: one lovely man; my two youngest children with me and both at Primary; two older sons popping in every now and then; my daughter (who lives next door and is doing her 4th year of study); her three girls who I have been looking after through PORSE; plus two opportunist dogs and two always-hungry cats…which has for the longest time translated into…not much time for me!

The control freak's guide to getting things done

By Angela Bensemann

Hello my name is Angela and I'm a control freak.

It’s been 12 minutes since I last tried to get someone to do something the way I wanted it done.

I’d like to say I haven’t always been this way but then I’d be lying.  Proof on the cassette tape played at my 21st (yes I am showing my age) demonstrating my bossy controlling nature from a really young age.  In my defence – you try getting a 6 and an 8 year old to play perfect pitch on the recorder in tune to your singing.

I didn’t really earn my full control freak stripes until I started working. I still remember the first time someone called me a control freak and to be honest with you I was actually quite shocked.

 I was sitting down with the sweet young thing in our office – Tracy, asking her to organise the writing and design of a booklet we needed to produce.  I then proceeded to draw exactly how I wanted it and tell her exactly what should be in it.  I must have had a brief glimpse of self-realisation and said to her, “I’m not trying to tell you what to do.”  To which she replied, “no you’re just being a control freak.”

Wow, a control freak.  I tried the label on for size and couldn’t really fault it.  I know there are a lot of negative connotations about being a control freak.  Think bossy, pedantic, annoying etc. But I decided to work this new found trait to my advantage.

You see, a control freak knows how to get things done.  A normal control freak could be counter-productive.  However, I am a control freak with self-awareness – major plus.  I know I’m a control freak and I tell everyone that.
 
To make sure I am in complete control at work I have mastered managing my diary I:

•  itemise all activities for the day
•  number activities in priority order
•  tick them off as they are completed
•  anything not finished on the day gets carried over to the next day
•  diary in follow up calls and appointments to make sure things are done

And then I have my favourite phrases to follow up others to make sure they’re doing what I want them to do:

•  I’ll follow up with you next Monday to see how you’re getting on, because I’m a control freak
•  Because I’m a control freak can you copy me in on the email when you send that job off
•  As a control freak I just need to double check all your changes before you send it to the printers

Of course satisfying my control freak nature at work is a lot easier than at home where I seem to have little control over making the child and the husband do what I want when I want – they seem to have minds of their own!

Freedom and opportunity there for the taking

Brenda Webb and David Morgan take time out from sailing for some
 inland exploration in Guatemala. They’re pictured at the Mayan
 ruins of Tikal near the Belize/Mexican border.

By Brenda Webb, intrepid sailor and part-time motelier

It’s blowing a gale and sleep is impossible as our yacht/home Bandit strains at her anchor and tosses us about in our bed.

Husband David and I take turns to go up on deck and check we’re not dragging onto nearby rocks or that another boat is not going to drag its anchor and crash into us.  It’s times like these I yearn for a bed that doesn’t rock, a “safe” house on dry land and a less nomadic lifestyle.

But those thoughts quickly disappear as the storm passes, the seas flatten and the Caribbean sun rises on yet another wonderful day.  I remind myself of the amazing freedom and opportunities our rather abnormal life presents.

Living on a boat and sailing the world means we get to visit some fascinating countries that wouldn’t normally be accessible.  Take the wonderful Island of Provendencia – owned by Colombia but lying off the Honduras coast - it proved a wonderful stopover for us in April as we sat out an unfavourable weather system.